It’s once I turned 24 that the phrase “One life to live” hit me like a ton of bricks. The resulting bruises are still there, still tender, a constant reminder.
THIS IS IT.
I’ve spent most of my life thus far in school, in university, in training. I found safety in the fact that this was the prep stage. The papers, the internships, the volunteer work: it was all a rehearsal. Dare I say, it all went quite well – top grades, good job, good friends. But it wasn’t fantastic. Cause it wasn’t 100% me.
When I didn’t just bury that questioning and longing deeper, I reassured myself that surely later I would build a career and a life I loved. I would eventually do everything I had aspired to as a child and had since dismissed as silly and unrealistic. I would know the joy of pursuing something I was deeply, enthusiastically passionate about, some day, maybe…
But here’s the thing I clued in to as I sped towards my quarter century birthday: “someday” is now. Or should I say, right now, is yesterday’s someday. And at any time now, I might get hit by a bus and run out of “some days” to place my bets on. Whether you believe in reincarnation or an afterlife or not, you have one chance to experience this life, on this plane of existence and it could all disappear at any moment.
What are you waiting for? I asked myself, “What are you waiting for to become a writer?” , “What are you waiting for to be creative again?” “What are you waiting for to share what you’ve learned so far?”.
“And what is this ‘maybe’ business anyway? If you died tomorrow would you be at peace? Would you feel that you really tried, that you extended yourself to the extremities of your capabilities and interests? What would your regrets be if you found out this was all the time you’d have?” Good point. Corny dreamer Marika: 1, Practical Marika: 0.
I came to a simple conclusion with major implications: It’s time to get serious about throwing caution to the wind. Time to dive in and see what it’s like under water. Find out once and for all if it’s the place for me. If it’s as magical as Sebastian the crab made it sound in “Under the Sea”.
So here I am at the very beginning of my journey towards living a life that is truer to myself. My needs, my wants, my crazy ideas. I’m talking all of me: young professional, altruistic heart, creative soul, friend, leader, social justice crusader, clown, engaged listener, whimpering twenty-something-year-old-boomerang-kid-to-be passing through an existential crisis. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
I’m proud to say that by starting this blog I’m already taking a significant step towards pursuing a lifelong aspiration: that of becoming a writer. So there, I’m admittedly embarking on a self-serving pursuit. But I think a thing or two on this blog might serve you too. If only by triggering an occasional smirk, sharing a useful link, or the spark you needed to start the journey towards your own authentic life.
THIS IS IT.